There is a time for some things;
And a time
for all things;
A time
for great things;
And a time
for small things.
This week, small things are really all I can manage. I'm going on week 2 with a stomach bug thing that is keeping me housebound, and housebound = too much time to think! And as we're nearing the end of the year, of course one takes a look back over the past year and ponders.
Was it good? Was it bad? Was it indifferent? I asked my yogi students in class this week to come up with a word that summed up this last year - and once they found the word, to let it go. Let it go and move forward, come up with a word for next year.
Sometimes I really do need to take my own advice!!
My word for this year, in hindsight, is growth. Change and growth. Leaving behind things that are comfortable (mighty unhealthy, but comfortable!) - and diving deep into the unknown. I thought I was pretty lucky 5 months ago when I forged a new path and things seemed to be floating along so well. I was lucky. It was just the break I needed - to regroup, to refocus. But I've realised I've not taken any time to just BE.. to nurture myself after a pretty hellish period.
I'm really feeling the effects of this now - physically my body just can't get over this illness without antibiotics. Normally my immunity is bang on! Mentally, I'm struggling with depression and hope-lessness. Normally, I am a person pretty full of joy - yes, I have my moments, but love and joy are two words I would use to describe who I am.
So the next step? I think.. I think.. the next step is to take some time.. for the small things. For sitting outside in the park. For meditating in the morning. For eating fruit & strawberries - and savour them. For sangha. For friends. For me.
Now the question - how the heck do I do that? It is such an easy problem to solve when I'm shiny and happy, but when I'm struggling it's tough. So tonight, I'll just be. Couch, me, blogging, a sad movie perhaps, and ice cream. And tonight, I'm OK with that.
Send me yr prayers, friends xx